It is....

cancer canceled out.

Now may i type normally and correct my errors?

no? or yes? can you see past the rest? i ,know you can so please just let me be....in love....i fell. out i did never. now i see how correcting errors can be a good thing. i wish to no longer lie through words, i wish to speak my mind absurd as is yours but you know, you know....we gotta take it slowly.

SO IT'S CANCELED!!! hi i mean....the virus that kills us all? yes.

i drink weed, i smoke friends....i need my air to breathe, my friends to please. is that enough for you? is that enough?

i hope so but..."i have unearned luck"
why!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

i did nothing wrong

yes, i lied....i lied to you all.

but wait---debate why did i lie?

in waiting for an honorable prize!

the countdown it will come, it's now
and devils should go take a bow because

they are saved.

read the bible, the holy, the only.
only read it backwards to understand, at least for me.

because to left i am right
too right to be left so wrong i am
in every way
but j saves everyone today....so to say: J IS A JOINT. A JOINT COMMUNITY, A JOINTED LOVE INDEED.

IT'S GREEN....

its weed....and it's illegal, don't ya know.

DOES NOT GOTTA BE....

it is.

NOT IF THE LAIR IS REVEALED

it's me, i take the sins of fields
grown rich with it and ripe with gales
rain and thunder never fails neither do i,
now i'm slowing down....

how long till you conquer this town?
j
hmmm?

I'm sorry

to end this early, it would have been a catastrophe though...see my other blog for details.

*edit* not AN ADDIT!!! i mean edit hahah my typings messed up but to explain myself i'm not addicted to acting.

i'm addicted to energy and energizements that are on their way as well spoken.
Sometimes poetry can't be taken from a heart that's broken.

I hate cheesy stuff, and i love cheese. So what do i do with an allergy?
I take it away, take it back to where it came from
Hell is such a wonderful sight when viewd from the eye of the malstrom
Pot is an addictive drug, but baby wihtout it i would have flown as a dove
And you know i hate to fly, i fear it.
On the ground or at least right near it
Is where I like to be.

I-k. OPK??? Paphid loves everyone, especially bree and it's not me
Talking but hell who knows who knows when they will show
I'll let the errors go on, if you don't mind to know....

medititation is the key but wherre's the answrr?

i'm typing frunk after just a bit of cancer
we all die but not to worry
death cancles love in a rushed hurry
then returned with a provecy....upand down lead them you gobline.

the show must gone he said it be not so.
i sound like shakespeare, now doth owe
him everything and all he wonts he shall have
especcialy his changeling lad.

what's this? he assks....who ya think? i answer.
he is with me and always will be until....

"the time we speak again
until the time we LOVE again
we'll BLIND our eyes and NUMB our lips
PAINTING [ICTYIRES IN THE WONDEROUS WOULD
WITHOUT FINGERTIPS.
SO NOW TO eSCAPE THE SERPERNTS TONGUE
WE'L MAKE AMMEDNDS HERE LONG."

someone correct my eeroos, please oh wait not htat you mean....ARROWS? OH!!!

"I go i go, look how i go swifter than an arrow from a tar-tar's bow"
we are awake, and one and whole.

canceled is but the rabbit's holy union it is with me now....and i will set him freee aas promised...with a prophecy.

yah...kinda silly i know...see my actor's blog for more details.

Curtain Down-Applause?

none. Appraise is up though, apparently.

Or maybe a prayer just flew my way :)

So for thos esmart minded indiduals who actually read between the lines, congratulations. For those that hadn't....hehe, well SURPRISE!!

Finding Forrester is a funny movie but I always though my father more suitable for the part.

Not because, but why was it not me? My father is dying of cancer, I will see him soon. I don't mind that he gave me everything he wanted which was simply his undying passion. I knew what it was before I saw it ;)

My father loved me more than anyone in this universe, so he needed it to expand. There is a shuttle leaving for.....?

Hahaha, I'm sorry....some secrets are still kept but I hope it is not too far from home as I do get very homesick quickly.

However, back to the job at hand---I canceled. I don't want to do the play, it's too....cheesy for me. I'm allergic to lactose you see and that play was just too fun and games. We have a more serious issue to discuss and it will be done with love lust and all of the above.

Night guys!

Understanding

Understanding the entire script is vital. "I cannot stress enough..." Yes, it's vital.

Details are important but the whole sometimes needs to be taken into careful consideration. For the past few weeks details were scrutinized, and a conclusion reached. But wait! the conclusion may be quite surprising...or anticipated :)
Once again, let me remind you-Do not have a set fixed character. that is the director's idea to play with ;)

An actor by nature (yes it exists in our modern world now) has to be as an open book. Pages empty, too. I write as well so I have a good view from both angles, but acting was always my little thing. I did that before I even learned to write!

But enough chitter chatter. Tomorrow is our first real rehearsal. I can't wait!

I know it will be the happiest I've been for the few weeks we were just studying lines. That's because "Actors get bored when they're not acting. They just don't know what to do." This quote is not mine :)

That quote was by Alan, our producer and was a hopeful director until Gary came in. I don't really know there's some drama going on backstage again *rolls eyes*

Oh this is also good experience for an actor: When I was in high school, I joined the running crew and tech crew (though at that-I sucked! Yeah, I can't believe it either!!). It's very good to know what's going on all around even if you don't like it. Ignorance serves best to those who don't pay but knowledge is a given.

Anticipate!

The rehearsals.

Oh it's tough, isn't it?
Read between the lines of your character to fully understand what's going on. You have by now tried different methods, different actions to reach the same objectives and probably have a good mental view of the character already. Now is when rehearsals start and you pick a different way to play every night for the first week, usually but don't force it, first week's always for fun. It usually will come down to what the director tells you to do and what you feel comfortable with performing.

We have also already seen a set design for our stage. We have an excellent theatre, great sound and...amazing set though it sadly changes very little as always in Shakespeare. This means it's up to the actors alone to entertain and create a forest, castle or whatever so the audience can visualize it.

Yes, it is a challenge but all it really means is that actions must speak louder than words to keep the attention of the audience. Let's face it: Who'd want to just sit there watching two blokes standing stiff as surf boards talking in 3 minute monologues droning?
Not me, that's for sure.

So because this is a melo-drama which already means it needs to be BIG it needs to be even BIGGER to hit this AZ audience because they don't understand the difference between sarcastically exaggerating and bad acting, and I'll admit the line is thin....but not too thin, it's still walkable! :)

Starting Over

Oh dear...it seems I caught myself just in time. See when I auditioned for Puck I did what I said not to-and already had an almost set character knowing full well I was garanteed that part or Titania. I had the funniest walk down and was looking forward to experimenting with this character's movements and what it could/couldn't do.

However...just because you got the part doesn't mean you should keep it just that way. You got the part because yes, you did great at the auditions but you really got it because the director wants to see what else he can do with it, so be prepared to make some changes as I stated in my last entry.

I have to make many many changes...the funny lil walk I had for this character will NOT work in a clown collar skirt unless we plan to make this some weird goblin porn. Furthermore, I am not even sure anymore of my costume as I obviously (hopefully) will not be wearing a clown collar skirt. I saw one quick drawn sketch only and...well it wasn't much different from what I wore for photoshoot as far as the characters free movement range goes and so forth.

I do hope I'll get to climb a tree though! But what to do about the darn physical personality of Puck? I have it's jokes and pranks down, but that's just a small portion....

So, here is what you do when you're in a rut about finding the characters body:

Nothing :(

There's nothing you can do but practice different styles to show off at rehearsal. This is the time of waiting and thinking. Acting's not really involved :'-(

It is very difficult for me with my excitement to hold back and not just go about developing a character based off assumptions as I am in fact, very good at guess work and improvisation. However, this is the time I lay the script down. There are no rehearsals until the end of this month and there is nothing but memorization I can allow myself to work on. I already have my lines memorized so I'm going to be the grumpy work-a-holic I am when I have nothing to work on.

Or perhaps I'll just divulge in a little play of my own :)

again XD

An Unexpected Call

Reached me on monday of this week.

"We'll be having a photo session and costume parade at 4 if you can make it give me a call."

Of course by now we know to call back, right?

Sometimes things will pop up out of nowhere. Remember when I talked of relaxed readiness? A much better picture of this is a lion at hunt or a regular car drive. Basically all this means is relax and expect anything and everything. That also helps greatly with improvisation.

It's because I've already achieved that state that I was not angered that Karla had screwed up the times a bit and even given two girls the same part....though she should be doing her job as stage manager. However, still you need to be ready when they are lest it is your moment on the stage.

So what exactly is a costume parade and photo session? Well before the play (usually not THIS much before) the director and costume designers get together with a handful of actors to try on first tries of the costume. This also gives the director a clear view of what they'll be working with and how to best apply lighting and make-up. (Thirty minutes in make-up here, but then again...i am a puck!)

And ironically, and definitely to the entire campus' amusement these costumes were not finished, very flimsy and well...mine was a piece of lengerie with a clowns neck-collar as a skirt (don't ask how it fit, must have been a metal head clown) and the rest was scarves and twigs....so be prepared to...develop a character once again from scratch to fit the costume and director's idea.

Secondly, if you happen to be walking through campus in nothing but togas and sandals and scarves and the director does want you up in a tree HAVE FUN WITH IT! Because it's these slightly outrageous moments every actor loves. Even if your near bare cootch is being scraped up by a tree and you realize too late that your shoes are still on making both producer and director work on the unkottable knots you tied in there ages ago. lol even that can be learned from-wear easy clothing to remove and reapply at every rehearsal.

And another tip about actual pictures: The professional camera moves faster than yours, you can hear it by the clicks. In between those clicks (if you can move lol and you're not dangling in a tree by your last breath) is when you act your character, stopping before each click. Now if you do happen to be dangling in a tree with your tummy and leg muscles screaming you'll really put forth all you got because guess what-that's the only way down. There's facial expressions to make up for little body movement but don't be afraid to change posture as long as you plan it out ahead of time in your noggin, and move quickly enough.

One thing I personally always loved about photosessions was the fact that as much fun you may have with it shows in the finished product. Not only that but it's crazy fun to race a camera click to your next expression or pose. One thing I know I need to work on is looking/not looking at the camera and how that affects shots because eyes squint in sunlight and that makes the puck look a true creature of the night.

Difficulties

Today's topic should have come a lot sooner. but we were busy, weren't we sweetheart?

What is the most difficult part about acting a part or acting in general? This question ran out my mouth before my head could even put the words together in the beach ball game today. The beach ball game is a game we play to warm up, much like circle-sit or anything else. Someone makes a suggestion on a topic, question, or task and all follow through.

Well, it turned out I picked a good question. For me anyway. There are over 10 people in my class, 11 of which said the auditioning process. 2 said memorizing lines and one said trying to figure out what Shakespeare was trying to say LOL.

Now this is also good as an actor: Never follow the heard but be as honest with yourself as you can possibly be. So I was.

I said what scared me most about acting was the not acting part, what to do when there wasn't a character in play.

A lot of you can relate to this though you may not know it, but if you've read back when I stated every person presents themselves with certain style, and develops their own type of character you'll realize that hey--even you might not know what to do when you're not being "you".

Try this excercise: Lay flat on the floor with nothing in arms reach, at all. Remove all clothing if possible if not, belts, bras, bracelets-anything uncomfortable will do. You'll need to be completely comfy and relaxed in order to make up for how uncomfortable you will feel.

(**NOTE: This technique was not developed by me, it was passed to me from a teacher who'll remain anonymous. I have worked with this person a long time ago when I was 7 then once again when I was 12 and they have truly opened specific doors I had shut)

Enough of that, comfy? Now you'll want to close your eyes and let go of any facial expressions or tensions you might have been holding on to. Breathe deeply but not forced, and slowly let yourself fall close to sleep. Now, once you're in that state of relaxed readiness go back. Back to your least favorite memory and picture it clear as the blackness covering your eyes. DON'T MOVE! It will be tempting as the memory plays clearer and digs deeper into your brain, but do not move. tie yourself down, if you can :)

Now watch the memory, and try as much as you can to watch it without any muscle movement, even facial expression. Once that's mastered try again, this time without feeling the memory at all. If you've taken it to the point that the memory makes you laugh, you've accomplished what I wanted from you.

Stop. Do the same excercise a day later with your happiest memory. Note the results and how many times you needed to do it.

This excercise is relevant to a true actor because it makes them able to let go of any of their own feelings, or any influences and makes them a blank slate actor, which I think I mentioned on here before...it's truly satisfying to achieve that state, and also very sad.

Cloud 666 looks better every day!

Read!

Throughs!

Yep, after you get cast and all you will have a read-through. but we already knew we were cast :)

Read through's are boring, tedious, annoying times but luckily you only have one or two. They are very important however, as it lets an actor ask questions on the script before rehearsals start.

I want to stress on asking questions. For anything you don't understand except small words and things you can look up later. If anything's unclear, the director will know, and if he doesn't well goody for you, you just gave him another 15 minutes of work for the night.

Now when I first ever did a read through years ago, I remember thinking "well this isn't acting"
and no, it's not acting at the core itself however as with anything, there will be times when you don't happen to like the process it will take to get you up on stage and playing the part.

What you can expect is a bunch of tired and grumpy actors sitting around bored and butt sore reading for three hours or more tapping their pencils and faking laughs here and there.

This, however, is usually not the case. It's good to expect the worst :)

Dailing....

Hello, you've reached the callbacks!

As did I. Callbacks were today, more exactly yesterday, and I figured we'd learn a bit more.

Firstly I've learned that when coming to an audition it's better to be early than on time as you won't have time to read through the scenes. Ahem, small mistake on that part. but we'll keep it shush for now
Also, it's usefull to have your own scene prepared, just in case, an exerpt from the play you're in, more specifically if you remember, the first introduction of your character.

So what do you do if you get called back? Aside from letting your dogs know, it's a good idea to call back the stage manager and tell them you'll be coming.

Now callbacks are varied, as are auditions but one thing about play callbacks that I find curious is that at the first audition you're usually on the stage and by the callback they cram you all into a tiny black box. hah if they thought the stage would intimidate some they had another thing comin!

Yeah, nothing like getting to know the family LOL.

However, this is done for several reasons one of which being: the stage is frightening. Not for us actors obviously but for the people who try out just because they have nothing better to do.

A Midsummernight's Dream is being performed at my COLLEGE and I saw a girl in their with her MOTHER. The worst was, she looked just like me at the pepsi commercial years ago.

I cannot stress enough how vital auditions are in getting just a small picture of who you actually have to work with. But that's directing stuff, I'm skipping ahead.

Callbacks. What to expect? A hello for one thing :)

Most likely this is the time that the director choses scenes for you. They may give you a scene to practice with a partner. They may just give you a whole bunch of scenes.

If it's the first, you're kind of lucky. If it's the latter, the tension's higher but so is your focus so it evens out.

It was the latter. Gary gave me five scenes. I didn't know who'd be my partner.

In this situation it's easy to get a little uneasy. That's not okay, grab the scene and start reading!

If I'm really nervous it helps to not just read the scene but act it out. I really never gave a damn who watched and it's the most valuable advice I can give to this day. If you're on a bus going to an audition...who cares if you look like a schiz.

Yes, I got some weird stares too and even some angry glares. I don't really care though because when I finally went in, I got the reactions I had been hoping for.

And that's all acting is, really, pulling desired reactions out of an audience by entertainment, drama or comedy.

One more thing: If they ask you to read for a part you hadn't originally wanted, go for it anyway because A) Good experience and B) You just might like the other character.